What is etiquette in theatre? Where does one learn the rules of attending a live performance? Who is the enforcer of the rules?
I recently attended a performance of the Canadian Opera Company’s Tosca. Tickets were expensive, which lead me to believe that I was to dress up for such an event (not to mention the fact that it was the opera). Upon arrival, dressed in my sheik black number, I noticed a large proportion of the audience was in everyday clothes. I was very intrigued by these people, most of whom were older than me. I thought, “if anyone were to come underdressed to the opera, it would most certainly be a young under-prepared student such as myself”. I was wrong. Women were dressed in frumpy oversized sweatshirts with stains, which I may say are great if you are at home in the middle of winter. I felt personally wronged somehow. I came to the opera for the atmosphere, as well as the show, and what I was faced with were versions of my mom doing housework on the weekends. Is it too much to ask that people put on clothes that are clean and fit properly to come to a performance that they paid a large amount of money for?
First Rule of Theatre: THOU SHALT TRY TO LOOK NICE WHEN ATTENDING A PERFORMANCE
This doesn’t mean “go out and buy new clothes”; it merely means dress appropriately depending on the type of performance. If you are paying over $100 for a ticket, perhaps stained sweats are not the most appropriate garb.
The show began with little trouble, but it would soon only bring drama to the lives around me. In the beginning, sitting next to me was a boisterous woman in her 40’s. Although dressed appropriately, she believed that it was perfectly natural to place her feet up onto the wall in front of us (we were in the front row of the orchestra). This was appalling to me! Not only did her dirty shoes leave stains in the light upholstery, but her heels left gouges as well. What would make one believe that this is appropriate behaviour in any setting? Would she appreciate someone coming into her house and putting their dirty shoes on the walls of her house?
Second Rule of Theatre: THOU SHALT TREAT THE THEATRE LIKE ONES OWN HOME
This means that when you arrive at the theatre: the floor is meant for walking, the seats are meant for sitting, and you politely move about in it marvelling at its structure and decor.
The performance was enjoyable. The commentary was not. The woman sitting next to me decided to discuss the scenes throughout the performance. Although whispering, she was clearly audible saying things such as “this is the famous aria”. Even if I didn’t know that that particular part was the ‘famous aria’, I would have figured it out. People around you do not want to hear you talking throughout the ‘famous aria’. We are here to listen to the ‘famous aria’, not you.
Third Rule of Theatre: THOU SHALT NOT TALK DURING THE PERFORMANCE
Do not talk during a performance, unless it is an emergency or the performers ask you to participate. The people around you did not come to listen to you jabber on throughout their experience. Not only does it take others out of the magic of the performance, it is highly annoying. No one else cares what you think.
As soon as the lights went up for intermission the woman turned around in her seat to yell at the older gentleman behind us. Apparently he tapped her with his program throughout the act as a means of saying “shut up”. She did not think that it was appropriate behaviour, and began to yell and carry on about charging him with assault. I mean honestly, if you are going to talk, people will not be impressed. Tapping you on the shoulder to show you of their displeasure is by no means an assault (especially considering she had been assaulting our ears). She carried on, eventually saying that her husband was a judge. A JUDGE. Are you serious? Your husband is a judge, who works under strict etiquette in the court and you can’t keep your mouth shut in the theatre where you are being entertained? Your husband is a judge and you blatantly put your feet up on the wall in a theatre? What is this world coming to?
The second act lights were warning us to return to our seats, but the seats that were empty beside my boyfriend were now filled with a very elderly gentleman and his presumed wife. Apparently they were late and were seated while we went to get a drink. Upon our arrival back, we had to squeeze past these two who would not move for us to get by. Fine, perhaps they had mobility issues that made it difficult. When I sat down I realized that my program was missing. Although perhaps not a big deal to some, it is to me. I like to keep referring to it during intermissions and after the show to reflect on the performance. I also enjoy keeping them as a souvenir. It was also clearly on my jacket, which was placed in my seat. That is when I noticed the elderly gentleman had my program. He had taken it from where I was sitting to use. If he needed one, he should have asked for one. You don’t just take things from people’s seats all willy nilly like that.
Fourth Rule of the Theatre: THOU SHALT NOT TAKE OTHER PEOPLE’S PROGRAMS
This does not mean that sharing isn’t allowed. I am sure that many people discard their program after the initial read. What is important is that you ask the person before taking. Simple. We all learned it in kindergarten, and it still stands whether you are eight or eighty. If you really wanted to look at it, all you would have to do is ask.
Throughout the next act this elderly gentleman proceeded to take up more room than was allotted to him on the elbow rest. He felt that it was necessary to hold his cane in between his legs with his arms out to the sides. Although perhaps fine for his wife, my boyfriend was not impressed with the fact that the man’s elbows were sticking into his side over the armrest. Not only was he taking over the entire armrest, but he was invading the seat of another person. This man did not pay for two seats, why did he feel that he could use both? If he had a medical reason for sitting that way, he should have been seated in one of the box seats.
Fifth Rule of the Theatre: THOU SHALT NOT HOG THE USE OF THE ARM REST
You may use the arm rest, by all means. You may not use it to the extent that you are causing the person next to you to be in discomfort. This is just common sense; it doesn’t matter how old you are, there is no justification for it.
So throughout this interesting night filled with theatre etiquette no-no’s whose responsibility is it to keep things in order? The ushers have some responsibility, but it is up to the theatre goers themselves to be respectful to the actors, theatre, and the patrons around them. Learn about what you should and shouldn’t do in the theatre, and when in doubt use common sense!
THE LIST:
1. ~ THOU SHALT TRY TO LOOK NICE WHEN ATTENDING A PERFORMANCE
2. ~ THOU SHALT TREAT THE THEATRE LIKE ONES OWN HOME
3. ~ THOU SHALT NOT TALK DURING THE PERFORMANCE
4. ~ THOU SHALT NOT TAKE OTHER PEOPLE’S PROGRAMS
5. ~ THOU SHALT NOT HOG THE USE OF THE ARM REST
6. ~ THOU SHALT UNWRAP CANDIES AND COUGH DROPS BEFORE THE PERFORMANCE COMMENCES
7. ~ THOU SHALT TURN OFF ALL ELECTRONIC DEVICES THAT MAKE NOISE
8. ~ THOU SHALT NOT LEAVE DURING THE PERFORMANCE UNLESS IT IS AN EMERGENCY
